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It's not easy to deal with the anger of finding out your wife cheated. You're probably going to have a lot of emotions going on inside. Some of these emotions will feel a little foreign to you and others will be completely unwanted and unwelcome.

Dealing with these emotions, one emotion in particular, can be quite difficult in this situation but there are things you can do that will make it easier for you to deal with the anger you're feeling over the fact that your wife cheated on you.

Understand that it isn't your fault. While no one is completely blameless in a situation like this, no one is completely at fault either. Ultimately, the responsibility lies with your wife who knows that cheating was the wrong choice to make. You'll find all things you could have, would have, or even should have done as you assess the situation but ultimately there is no benefit to be found in laying blame on yourself or finding fault with every single contribution you made to the relationship.

Believe that your wife loves you. If you do not believe this there is no point in even contemplating saving the relationship. Do you believe she stopped loving you because she did one bad act? Yes, you're hurting and you're very angry. Believing in the love your wife has for you is one way to help soothe the anger.

Ask the questions that are on your mind. No matter how gentle you are by nature the odds are good that you're going to hold on to that anger until you get all the answers you need. You can't really put the affair behind you and move forward until you've gotten those answers and made peace with the situation. Get the answers. Find peace with them. Move on to the next phase of your relationship whatever it may be.

Know that forgiving your wife is not excusing your wife. You can forgive your wife while not liking the actions just as you can continue to love your wife even though you're angry with her or hurt by her actions.

You can't just turn the love off because you don't like what she did but you don't have to go back to the same level of trust just because you've forgiven her. Allow yourself the time you need to really recover before you try to box yourself into a character mold that you're really not feeling at the moment.